Has got up and went! I am tired, I tell y'all! Sometimes it's not a physical weariness, but an emotional or a spiritual one. Right now, it's physical and emotional. Between running at a break-neck pace to get everything done and having to smile about it, I'm just wiped out! But that's not how I need to be right now. If I stay in this funk, I'll look back at one of the most important weekends of my life and be full of regret. I certainly don't want that!
Of course, being tired makes me think of the verses in Isaiah about running and not growing weary, walking and not growing faint. The prophet says that those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength, and that we will soar on the wings of eagles. So this causes me to think, "On a week like this, how in the world am I supposed to find time to wait on the Lord??" So then I think of the word "wait". In Hebrew, this word means "to expect" or "to prepare for". The people of Israel were captives in Babylon and were constantly oppressed by the Assyrians. It would have been quite easy for them to say, "We're strong! We can fight back!" But they would have failed. Isaiah prophesied to them to prepare themselves for the Lord - He would act! And He did!
So why can't I learn this? I can hear the Lord saying to me even now, "Stop running! Just like you are in my hand, so are my plans for you! Just sit back and let them be - that will cover your tiredness, your fears of inadequacy and your sometimes too-easily-offended attitude. You just let me be me - and wait on me to act. I promise it will be worth it!"
Lord, teach me to wait. I don't want to walk ahead of you, but right with you - arm in arm - with you guiding me. Remind me of how sweet it is to have butterflies of anticipation as I ready myself for your motions. Give me your strength - so I may be restored, complete, whole, and excited for the things You have prepared for me.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Words of Life
A little bit of encouragement can go a long way. Unfortunately, so can a little bit of negativity. I know how words can get under my skin, and I'm constantly amazed by my husband who just lets things roll off. I know others who are a lot like me. I have friends right now who...
...can't fathom their worth because of a few hurtful words.
...are convinced that who they are today is all they'll ever be because of the labels given to them by their peers.
...struggle with finding their place in the world because a few closed-minded individuals have blocked them from reaching out to others.
None of this is fair. Thankfully, we have great words throughout Scripture to completely counteract all of these lies from the enemy...
"He who called you is faithful and He will do it." -1 Thessalonians 5:24
"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you with His love; He will rejoice over you with singing." -Zephaniah 3:17
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God, I will strengthen and I will help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:10
How blessed we are to know that the God of the Universe thinks so highly of us that He would send His Son to ransom us from hell and to rejoice over us with singing! Hallelujah!
Lord, grasp my tongue - make it submissive to You. May every word coming from my lips be those of praise for You and for Your wonderful creation. Let me remember the exceeding joy you carry for your children and how you long for them to be in relationship with You. Grant me opportunities to expose Your heart to those who need to hear from You. In Your Name, Amen.
...can't fathom their worth because of a few hurtful words.
...are convinced that who they are today is all they'll ever be because of the labels given to them by their peers.
...struggle with finding their place in the world because a few closed-minded individuals have blocked them from reaching out to others.
None of this is fair. Thankfully, we have great words throughout Scripture to completely counteract all of these lies from the enemy...
"He who called you is faithful and He will do it." -1 Thessalonians 5:24
"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you with His love; He will rejoice over you with singing." -Zephaniah 3:17
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God, I will strengthen and I will help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:10
How blessed we are to know that the God of the Universe thinks so highly of us that He would send His Son to ransom us from hell and to rejoice over us with singing! Hallelujah!
Lord, grasp my tongue - make it submissive to You. May every word coming from my lips be those of praise for You and for Your wonderful creation. Let me remember the exceeding joy you carry for your children and how you long for them to be in relationship with You. Grant me opportunities to expose Your heart to those who need to hear from You. In Your Name, Amen.
Monday, May 28, 2012
It's Here!
Commissioning Week is here! This time next week, I'll be finishing up any last minute cleaning, Brian will be taking boxes to storage and we'll be preparing to check out of good ol' 1032. Today, though, in between scrubbing bathroom tiles and vacuuming out closets, I've found moments of stillness. Brief seconds in which I pause and take in everything around me. I see nails in the walls where we hung family photos, boxes of dishes and coffee cups that we've used to entertain friends at the drop of a hat, and two shepherd's staffs - given to us by the Principal - to remind us of the task that will soon be at hand. Those things won't be packed away. Partially, because they won't fit into any box, but mostly because it's a reminder that everything is starting to get real.
As we get ready to leave this place, those staffs will help us in every decision we have to make. Those staffs will help us guide those God will entrust to us. Those staffs will be used by the people that God has entrusted us to as well. In less than one month, we'll go from being cadets - with life handed to us in scheduled detail, to being ordained ministers - with life less scripted and more daring. This is what we've dreamt of our whole lives! This is our fairy tale!
But as we could get caught up in the excitement of the title, those staffs bring back beautiful words shared with us during our last Covenant Chapel - the day before signing our Officer's Covenant. The prayer is as follows:
Lord, is that all there is?
Do we spend two years here
Just for a splash of red and one tiny star?
No, God, I cannot believe
That You would have me labor
and pray and sweat it out
For such a transient objective.
There must be more than stars,
More than crests or even silver piping;
There must be more than Army politics,
More than a hoopla one Sunday in June.
Still, in our smallness,
We look forward to pomp and ceremony.
Our finite minds feel a need to
Strut and prance and preen.
We long, O Lord, for the "Day of Red Epaulets".
Oh, we know that epaulets
Don't mean a thing to a hungry family,
Or to a man, dead-drunk and bleary-eyed.
Epaulets don't keep the books or bale the rags.
Epaulets, in their own strength, cannot
Reach out and touch another human being.
Epaulets simply do not care.
No, it takes a person
Under the shoulders,
Under the tunic,
Under the epaulets,
To do these things.
Make us ready, O God,
To shoulder the burdens
That come with the splash of red
And the tiny star.
-Lesa Salyer Davis
...and I'd like to add, make us ready, O God, to live out this dream come true!
As we get ready to leave this place, those staffs will help us in every decision we have to make. Those staffs will help us guide those God will entrust to us. Those staffs will be used by the people that God has entrusted us to as well. In less than one month, we'll go from being cadets - with life handed to us in scheduled detail, to being ordained ministers - with life less scripted and more daring. This is what we've dreamt of our whole lives! This is our fairy tale!
But as we could get caught up in the excitement of the title, those staffs bring back beautiful words shared with us during our last Covenant Chapel - the day before signing our Officer's Covenant. The prayer is as follows:
Lord, is that all there is?
Do we spend two years here
Just for a splash of red and one tiny star?
No, God, I cannot believe
That You would have me labor
and pray and sweat it out
For such a transient objective.
There must be more than stars,
More than crests or even silver piping;
There must be more than Army politics,
More than a hoopla one Sunday in June.
Still, in our smallness,
We look forward to pomp and ceremony.
Our finite minds feel a need to
Strut and prance and preen.
We long, O Lord, for the "Day of Red Epaulets".
Oh, we know that epaulets
Don't mean a thing to a hungry family,
Or to a man, dead-drunk and bleary-eyed.
Epaulets don't keep the books or bale the rags.
Epaulets, in their own strength, cannot
Reach out and touch another human being.
Epaulets simply do not care.
No, it takes a person
Under the shoulders,
Under the tunic,
Under the epaulets,
To do these things.
Make us ready, O God,
To shoulder the burdens
That come with the splash of red
And the tiny star.
-Lesa Salyer Davis
...and I'd like to add, make us ready, O God, to live out this dream come true!
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Daydreaming
Boxes, trash bags, scrub brushes & disinfectant. That's what my life is full of right now. It's hard to believe how quickly two years have flown by - and how much extra stuff we've accumulated in that time! But I'm getting caught up in some daydreams. A few are of Commissioning, though thanks to our handy-dandy brief, there's not much left to the imagination. Some daydreams are about the cruise I'm going on with our family. Mostly, though, they're exploring my curiosity about a new city, a new way of life, and a new ministry. Because we don't know our appointment, it's hard to dream about our home or about our daily routine or our favorite shopping areas. However, it's very easy to daydream about God using us in magnificent ways. In three of the four Gospels, Jesus is quoted as saying, "The poor you will always have with you..." In today's society, you don't even have to go looking for the poor, the down & out, or the lost. In fact, the glowing red light of our shield acts as a beacon drawing those exact ones into our fold.
But even with having the light to attract them in, there is something to be said for going and finding them. In the movie, "The Princess Diaries 2", the villain of the movie, who is out to take Princess Mia's crown, shows his nephew an example of how to achieve a goal. While playing a game of darts, he demonstrates not throwing the dart to make the bulls eye, but walking the dart in his hand straight to the target. In that case - the example was teaching cheating. But in ministry, it's right on the money. It is my task to go to the poor and walk them directly to the target - salvation then sanctification and holiness. Sometimes, they won't want to come, or I may not want to go, but I will never find those who are ready if I'm not out searching. Then as I labor to deliver them into the safe arms of Jesus, I may return again to find those poor who will always be with us- and will be aching with their whole body, mind, and soul to be escorted to the target - the heart of Jesus Christ.
But even with having the light to attract them in, there is something to be said for going and finding them. In the movie, "The Princess Diaries 2", the villain of the movie, who is out to take Princess Mia's crown, shows his nephew an example of how to achieve a goal. While playing a game of darts, he demonstrates not throwing the dart to make the bulls eye, but walking the dart in his hand straight to the target. In that case - the example was teaching cheating. But in ministry, it's right on the money. It is my task to go to the poor and walk them directly to the target - salvation then sanctification and holiness. Sometimes, they won't want to come, or I may not want to go, but I will never find those who are ready if I'm not out searching. Then as I labor to deliver them into the safe arms of Jesus, I may return again to find those poor who will always be with us- and will be aching with their whole body, mind, and soul to be escorted to the target - the heart of Jesus Christ.
Friday, May 25, 2012
A Bittersweet Symphony
Today I signed my Officer's Covenant. There were so many beautifully sweet moments during worship that I couldn't help but be in awe of God's amazing plan for my life. However, there were some extremely painful moments. One of the things I love the most about living in community is the way it is so fluid. The DNA of our community last year is starkly different than that of our community this year. And as much as the whole group's dynamic changes, unfortunately that happens on a smaller scale, too. As I knelt and signed my covenant at a table where thousands of officers who have gone before me signed theirs, I got very emotional. I realized how alone I felt there. Even surrounded by such a "great cloud of witnesses" as I was, that moment was extremely personal and extremely lonely. People have changed, relationships have changed, my apartment is changing, life is changing...and as excited as I am for a lot of these changes, others hurt - and they hurt bad.
Thankfully, I serve a God who knows my heart even before my mind can comprehend the feelings. We sang a beautiful old hymn that brought a peace to my soul,
"Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness,
Morning by morning, new mercies I see,
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided,
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me."
No matter the depth of loneliness I may feel or the excitement of signing a long-sought-after covenant, God is my constant supply. He remains faithful to me and showers me with new mercy, grace and love each morning. As bittersweet as these moments were, I can rest in His arms and know that I am desired, accepted and dearly loved.
Thankfully, I serve a God who knows my heart even before my mind can comprehend the feelings. We sang a beautiful old hymn that brought a peace to my soul,
"Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness,
Morning by morning, new mercies I see,
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided,
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me."
No matter the depth of loneliness I may feel or the excitement of signing a long-sought-after covenant, God is my constant supply. He remains faithful to me and showers me with new mercy, grace and love each morning. As bittersweet as these moments were, I can rest in His arms and know that I am desired, accepted and dearly loved.
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