Today I signed my Officer's Covenant. There were so many beautifully sweet moments during worship that I couldn't help but be in awe of God's amazing plan for my life. However, there were some extremely painful moments. One of the things I love the most about living in community is the way it is so fluid. The DNA of our community last year is starkly different than that of our community this year. And as much as the whole group's dynamic changes, unfortunately that happens on a smaller scale, too. As I knelt and signed my covenant at a table where thousands of officers who have gone before me signed theirs, I got very emotional. I realized how alone I felt there. Even surrounded by such a "great cloud of witnesses" as I was, that moment was extremely personal and extremely lonely. People have changed, relationships have changed, my apartment is changing, life is changing...and as excited as I am for a lot of these changes, others hurt - and they hurt bad.
Thankfully, I serve a God who knows my heart even before my mind can comprehend the feelings. We sang a beautiful old hymn that brought a peace to my soul,
"Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness,
Morning by morning, new mercies I see,
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided,
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me."
No matter the depth of loneliness I may feel or the excitement of signing a long-sought-after covenant, God is my constant supply. He remains faithful to me and showers me with new mercy, grace and love each morning. As bittersweet as these moments were, I can rest in His arms and know that I am desired, accepted and dearly loved.
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